Dear 5w3et_th1ng42;
Do you remember when you asked me what I wanted in a relationship? I had no answer for you, so I told you that I didn't know. In retrospect, I think that was the wrong question to ask. Each relationship is different, each person is different, and I don't want the same relationship with each person. There is no generic ideal relationship to me, I can't just want something that doesn't exist. A better question would have been "what do you want in this relationship?" but I barely knew you then, and all I knew, all I could possibly want then was to see where things would go.
I let you set the pace because you- remarkably- seemed the more cautious one of us. We agreed upon our parameters before I had any idea where I wanted them to be. Now I have a much better idea of what I want in this relationship, but now it is too late.
The long and short of it is that I want to spend more time with you than you have available to spend with me. Between our respective temporal constraints we have a severely constricted amount of time available within which to have any sort of relationship, and it doesn't allow for any sort of natural development. It is agonizing to me to keep all this inside, but what purpose would it serve to tell you? You wanted a drama-free relationship, which is one of the few things I know I can provide, you wanted to know if you could handle dating two people at once, and I know I can provide a positive portion of that experience for you; I'm helping you find what you want in the long term at the expense of my own sanity/happiness/whatever. There is no solution to my problem, so why impose it on you?
Sincerely,
blu3y3d_w0nd3r
Do you remember when you asked me what I wanted in a relationship? I had no answer for you, so I told you that I didn't know. In retrospect, I think that was the wrong question to ask. Each relationship is different, each person is different, and I don't want the same relationship with each person. There is no generic ideal relationship to me, I can't just want something that doesn't exist. A better question would have been "what do you want in this relationship?" but I barely knew you then, and all I knew, all I could possibly want then was to see where things would go.
I let you set the pace because you- remarkably- seemed the more cautious one of us. We agreed upon our parameters before I had any idea where I wanted them to be. Now I have a much better idea of what I want in this relationship, but now it is too late.
The long and short of it is that I want to spend more time with you than you have available to spend with me. Between our respective temporal constraints we have a severely constricted amount of time available within which to have any sort of relationship, and it doesn't allow for any sort of natural development. It is agonizing to me to keep all this inside, but what purpose would it serve to tell you? You wanted a drama-free relationship, which is one of the few things I know I can provide, you wanted to know if you could handle dating two people at once, and I know I can provide a positive portion of that experience for you; I'm helping you find what you want in the long term at the expense of my own sanity/happiness/whatever. There is no solution to my problem, so why impose it on you?
Sincerely,
blu3y3d_w0nd3r
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